Oleg's Birthday Gift
By Kayt
It all started a couple of months ago when I was browsing in a weird little shop near my
work, the kind of shop where they sell everything from nail polish and household cleaners
to those large 3-D framed pictures of lakes and waterfalls with the whooshing-water sound
effects. They also sell really cheap not-so-nice shoes and small model cars and other toys,
and it was that aisle I was walking slowly down when I spotted the tiny bright red BMW Z8
in a box on the shelf. Right away I thought of customizing it in the style of the Red
Elvises’ van…with Linda and Ron’s Harriet as my inspiration! So I bought it with the idea
of doing this for Oleg for his birthday, knowing I had plenty of time to figure out how to
put the yellow words on it.
Paint and stencils seemed like a good idea at first, but didn’t work at all, even
though I searched for some bright yellow paint that claimed on the label that it could be
used on metal. It lied, more or less. It could be put on metal, but then it could be wiped
right off. And I’ve never been any good with stencils, not to mention that the style of the
lettering wasn’t really ideal anyway. Then I had the brilliant idea of using the Red Elvises
condoms they sell at shows…well, the words off the condom covers, to be more precise. I
looked through my stuff till I found one, and measured the words for size. Perfect fit,
and the other words and graphic on there could be used on the hood and trunk! Now the
only problem was, I needed two of them. Surely I had managed to collect one more Red Elvises
condom at some point in all my show hopping? It took some more rooting around in all my
things, but finally I found another one and set to work thinning the cardboard, cutting the
words off and trying to stick them on. The tricky part was cutting the “decals” once they
were on, to make it possible for the little doors to still open. I also made teesy weensy
little red fuzzy dice, using a bit of a cotton ball, a small piece of red string and a red
Sharpie marker, to hang on the tiny non-functional “rear view mirror.”
Just in case you want to try this at home, forget laminating plastic. It’s sticky but
doesn’t do too well when the object is curved or shaped, plus the edges are too noticeable.
Also, where I found it you have to buy a much larger quantity of it than you’ll ever need,
so that was a waste. I found that Duco glue does the trick, though. It sticks to metal
quite nicely, you just have to apply a little pressure for a few minutes at first to make
sure the edges stick. Voila! A do it yourself craft project that made a great birthday
present that Our Favorite Bass Balalaika player loved! You too can have your very own
tiny Redmobile if you find a small red model car and buy a couple of Red Elvises condoms
next time you go to a show (and the glue, of course, but only use it to stick small items
to other small items!)… Happy Crafting and remember, if anyone asks you why you have so
many Red Elvises condoms on hand, now you'll have a handy excuse!
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