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When I first planned this trip and realized I could make it happen, I was waiting for it like a kid waits for Christmas morning, with eager and happy anticipation. My two trips to Florida had been awesome and fun, and this Five-Day Extravaganza, as I had come to think of it, was gonna be great too, even though I was doing it solo for the most part. Then finally the week arrived…and it WAS great! And it flew by soooo fast! Awww… But I’m getting ahead of the story... I always do that!
Red Elvises, are, as we all know, a great band to see live and an incredible band to talk to and hang out with and have fun with - that's why they're Our Favorite Band. Going on the road with them, even though I was in my own car from city to city and even though I was with them for less than a week, really gives a taste of their life on the road, how hard they work, how much sleep one should ideally get for all that travel and how to really appreciate the unexpected fun things that can happen in a day or evening on the road.
Now some things that might surprise you… 1) It was not nonstop partying. All right, there was a little partying but not as much as you might think. It stopped, and we slept...and drove...and ate, and slept again later, after the next show. 2) Sleep is a good thing. 3) Accordion music, played live in the passenger seat, can help keep you awake on a long drive. 4) You can never have too much Chinese buffet. Well, you could have too much at one sitting, true, but the next day the lure of Chinese buffet (“oooh, Chinese buffet!”) will hang there in your mind like a big silver spaceship looking to beam up some unwitting earthlings (huh? Bear with me, here…), as if you didn’t just eat at a Chinese buffet (those that serve beer are a plus in Oleg’s book!) the day before. Don’t let that spaceship get you before you find another Chinese buffet, whatever you do! We thought we’d found one in Allentown but it turned out to be a Japanese steakhouse…sushi but no buffet. We ended up at Boston Market instead. But more on that later… Eating with the Elvises is always a culinary adventure and often a chance to try new things.
I worked that day but was rather distracted, as you can imagine. I got a phone call from Chris Brown at the Visulite Theater in the early afternoon asking if I’d spoken to Igor that day and if I knew what time they might be arriving for the load-in and soundcheck. I told him I hadn’t, then supplied the necessary phone numbers so he could call the guys with that question. I later called Oleg myself to see if possibly their arrival time might coincide with the time I got off work, 5:30pm. But it looked like they would probably get to the Visulite an hour or so earlier than that. Now the thing to remember here is that I work within walking distance of the Visulite and can actually see it from a large plate glass window at the end of the hallway where my department is located. I can see the marquee from there, that is, and the top of the building; to see the street in front of the Visulite I have to run up the stairs to the 5th floor. And yes, I ran up there several times to see if I could see a big red van in the street out front from around 4:00pm on. But somehow I missed them. I did have to do some work that day, after all.
So after work I drove by the Visulite but still saw no red van. I knew they’d most likely been there already though and were probably at the hotel sleeping or grabbing something to eat or whatever. So I’d see them later. I went over to my friend Brian’s house to hang out and get ready, since he lives a lot closer to uptown Charlotte (10 minutes away) than I do (about an hour away). It would be Brian’s second Red Elvises show; he likes them but hasn’t gotten bitten by the megafan bug (yet) like I did years ago. We were supposed to meet Lilith, who had driven down alone from the Raleigh area, in front of the Visulite at 8:00pm, but she called to say she was a little delayed. She wasn’t very late though, so while we were trying to get to the restaurant for dinner (I turned the wrong way, I think, and had to wait for a really long traffic light and make a U-turn, etc.), I called her and she was at the venue, so we went to pick her up. We had dinner at a really good Chinese restaurant (not buffet but still good) down the street and around the corner from the venue.
We arrived at the Visulite Theatre around 9:00pm and I was a little surprised to find the opening band, Haale, hadn’t started yet. Would this be a later night than I thought? Brian, Lilith and I found a table, got some drinks and sat. It bothered me that there wasn’t much of a crowd, but it was a Tuesday night in Charlotte (stuffy town at times, in my opinion), plus Red Elvises aren’t well-known there yet. Soon, various Elvii started wandering in… Adam, Igor, Oleg… and said hi, hugged Lilith and me and shook Brian’s hand. I didn’t see Beth before the show and Elena wasn’t with them on this leg of the tour, having had to fly back to Russia the previous Sunday to take care of a visa problem. The opening band, the aforementioned Haale, which played middle eastern-flavored new-agey music with a female singer on guitar wearing a red dress, started around 10:30pm. I noticed Oleg and Igor, sitting at separate tables alone, watching part of their set. Haale wasn’t bad and if I’d been more in the mood for that sort of music I probably would’ve gotten more into it. I liked the singer’s red dress, anyway.
Red Elvises started their one longish set around 11:20 and of course they were terrific even if the crowd of maybe 25 or 30 people didn’t all dance. There were a dozen or so people down in the front dancing, and more up the steps on the platform which is higher, more on a level with the stage. The Visulite used to be a movie theater so they put in a platform with stairs going down to where the stage is, to get around the floor slant that movie theaters, at least the older ones, have. I ran the merchandise table, located in the back (or technically, in the front, since the stage is in the back part of the building) next to the bar. Like last time there, I still had a good view of the stage. And let me say right here that from here on out I’m going to just call “Memoirs of a Phuket Geisha” by the name Igor calls it onstage, “Memoirs of a Hooker,” which is more direct and gets the job done just as well. So relax, it’s not another new song, just a more economical way of referring to a great and funny existing song.
Here are the songs they played:
| I’m Not That Kind of Guy Lovepipe Boogie on the Beach Gypsy Heart Love Rocket Ticket to Japan Ukrainian Dance #13 Memoirs of a Hooker Sad Cowboy Song Wicked Game Belly Dance 3 Encores: Closet Disco Dancer, Juliet and Rocketman |
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A lot of people hadn’t heard of Red Elvises before but some of the visitors to the merch table surprised me by pointing out various CDs that they already owned. “I’ve got that one and that one and this one…” Wow, cool! So I think a following is starting to build in Charlotte and there’s future potential for some fandom there. I sold some CDs and one t-shirt. The show sounded great even though I missed seeing and hearing Elena and her keyboard. Before the show began Oleg had said I looked good standing under a light that was over the merch table so I tried to make sure to stand under that light or others like it the rest of the night (I'm kidding... I'm not that vain! Am I? No, I'm kidding...who's going to stand in one spot under a light all evening?). He also told me, in motions and words, to take pictures from the platform rather than down on the floor directly in front of the stage. Once when I went down there (with Brian watching the merch table), I looked up and saw Oleg motioning with his head and eyes for me to go back up the stairs and photograph from the platform, which was pretty funny as I understood him perfectly even though he was in the middle of playing right then. So I went back up and took some pictures from up there.
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When Belly Dance started Brian was kind enough to watch the merchandise for me while I ran down to the stage. The only dancers to get onstage were Lilith from the Raleigh area, me, one other girl and some guy Oleg dragged up there, who seemed pretty happy dancing with the girl. The band finished a very nice set in a little over an hour and they were done loading up by about 1:00am. I made sure the merchandise got packed up and Brian, Lilith and I took it all closer to the stage. The only way I’ve found so far at the Visulite to get to the backstage area, which is literally directly BEHIND the stage, is to climb up on the stage via a set of steps conveniently placed there and walk across it to go into the back, so I did that, carrying some boxes of CDs, and then asked Igor how to get the merch suitcases back there to be loaded in the trailer. He helped Lilith and Brian get those through the hallway and back door. I tried to stay out of the way so they could load everything, because only they know how it all goes in there just right…it’s a mystery to everyone else. At the end of the night we hugged goodbye and I told them I had to work part of the next day but would meet them in Greenville at the hotel. Lilith decided to drive home rather than opting to stay with us at Brian’s place so I told her “See you in Raleigh on Thursday!” Then it was back to Brian’s for him and me, since we both had to get up early for work the next morning.
Never assume anything, especially when doing a road trip with Your Favorite Band. The hotel we stayed in last time, booked by the venue, wasn’t the same one as this time. Fortunately I was able to find this out before checking in to the wrong hotel and cancel my reservation. I then found the right hotel with Oleg’s help, got a room and talked to Oleg on the phone again…they were at the Handlebar doing the soundcheck. I was truly sorry to have missed that because it was so cool last time (that was the first time and place I ever heard “Burning For You,” during the soundcheck last October, and those who have heard it know what a great song it is…). But I decided to just hang at the hotel and figure out what to wear, since I wasn’t sure how much longer they’d be over there anyway and was a little tired from having to work from 8:30am till 3:30pm that day. I whiled away the time by trying on a few possible outfits (I didn’t exactly travel “light” on this trip so I had various clothing with me to choose from…) and glancing out the window from time to time in hopes of seeing them arrive at the hotel. Luck was with me and I happened to be doing one of my glances just as the van pulled into the parking lot! They had left the trailer at the Handlebar. I was wearing some very red combination of clothing that I think involved sequins or something, so I yanked off that top and threw on the first halfway “normal” piece of clothing I could grab, a white Red Elvises “Kick ass rock ‘n roll from Siberia” t-shirt, keeping the odd red pants on that I was wearing, and ran downstairs (well, via the elevator) to say hi.
Yes…funny thing about this band, I get excited every time I’m going to see them, even if I’m seeing them every day, as silly as that may sound. I had just seen and spoken to them roughly eighteen hours earlier but, well, I’m just crazy, I guess, and those of you who know me or read my rambling stories here already know that. Maybe if I saw them every day for, say, about ten years or so I might calm down but it would never ever get old, I’m sure of that. So you’re just going to have to bear with me, and excuse my craziness, okay? Okay.
Oleg said I could ride with them to the Handlebar later and the time to meet at the van was decided on. The hotel people were great and had their room keys all ready for them; it turned out that Oleg, Igor and I were all in a row on the 3rd floor. The rooms, or at least mine, since I didn’t see anyone else’s, were pretty nice and quite comfortable. So I went back up there to relax and get ready. And yes, I did finally decide what to wear, except right now I can’t remember what it was. Oh well...
We went to the Handlebar and I saw the backstage area/dressing room for the first time. I wasn’t sure if I should go in there, it was rather small, so I went in for a couple of minutes but when Beth said she was going to go get some Red Bulls I went with her to help. We brought the Red Bulls back and then it was Meet the Press time! James Shannon, editor of the Beat (Daily Beat Online), a terrific music paper in the area, was there with his wife and a young child he said was a big fan of the band. Start ‘em young and grow them up right, there ya go! It was great meeting them. Last October The Beat put Red Elvises on the cover and couldn’t do that again so soon, but hopefully next time they’ll be on the cover again. There was a great photo of Oleg inside and a small but nicely worded article on them. It’s great when the press loves Red Elvises and it shows excellent taste in the media as well.
I soon went back into the huge club to tend to the merchandise and get that all set up. The crowd was much larger there; they have quite a nice following in Greenville, probably due, in part, to the great press they get there. And of course word of mouth, since most people can’t wait to tell their friends about this kick ass band they saw and then bring them the next time. I said it before and I’ll say it again, I love the Handlebar! It’s so huge, with that nice big stage (that Beth especially enjoyed) and a lovely, permanent set up for selling merchandise. And the food’s good too, even though this time I didn’t get a chance to eat there. I highly recommend it if you’re ever in the Greenville, South Carolina area and Red Elvises are playing there.
They played the usual two sets that night, here are the songs:
| Set 1: I’m Not That Kind of Guy Lovepipe Telephone Call From Istanbul Gypsy Heart Love Rocket Ticket to Japan Memoirs of a Hooker Sad Cowboy Song Belly Dance |
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Set 2: 200 Flying Girls Drinking with Jesus Lara’s Wedding Your Love is Better Than Cocaine Ukrainian Dance #13 Wicked Game Closet Disco Dancer Rocketman Juliet Rock Me Sally (those last few were encores) |
After the show it was pack up the gear (band), pack up the merchandise (me, along with a lot of help in organizing it from Igor and Beth) and climb back in the van to ride back to the hotel. Beth and I talked some in the van waiting for everyone to be ready to go and started getting to know each other a little. She’s a really cool girl in addition to being very talented. At the hotel Igor went to his room and I guess Adam went to bed too but Oleg, Beth and I stayed up for a little while and tried to drink some tequila I had brought for Oleg…but for some reason that bottle of Jose Cuervo seemed really strong. I’m not even sure Jesus could’ve drank much of it! (As referenced in the song “Drinking With Jesus,” that is!). It wasn’t a big or late party, we just talked some and drank a little but it was fun.
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The next morning we all, except for health-conscious Beth, walked across the street to Krispy Kreme for breakfast. Igor and Oleg wore their very sexy Krispy Kreme hats but Adam didn’t indulge. Beth waited for us in the van in the hotel parking lot across street. We bought doughnuts and sat down to eat them. Two of the three gentlemen I was with opted to wear their Krispy Kreme fine hatwear while they ate, so naturally I took pictures of them, giggling inside. One normally(?) doesn't want to laugh at funny musicians before 1:00pm in the afternoon... No, wait, that's a silly rule, nevermind! I thought they looked cute in their hats, anyway, even though I couldn't convince Adam to put his on. We got done and walked back across the street.
The first stop for our day of travel was a gas station, yay! After that I was back in following-the-van mode, which is always an adventure. Wherever they go I go and I don’t even ask why, because I know it’ll always be fun... well, gas stations aren’t always that much fun but they are necessary for several reasons. But anyway, I can truthfully say Red Elvises haven’t ever steered me wrong yet...well, not in a major way...it’s all good. So we went to a Guitar Center before leaving Greenville and that was very cool, even though I felt sort of like a little kid whose mother tells her not to touch anything for fear of breaking it. So many pretty guitars, ooh! I looked at guitar straps with Beth, who needed a new one, and actually thought about buying a guitar. But I have no idea if I could really learn to play one...I tried once and kinda sucked at it... Maybe if I had a really good teacher, hmm. But I resisted the urge. After a while everyone came back outside and I think Beth's strap was the only purchase although I had already gotten back in my car by then so I couldn't swear to that.
Next stop was a Barnes & Noble bookstore. I don’t know whose idea that was but it was pretty cool. I love bookstores! First thing I had to do there? Find the Ladies Room! Urgh. When I got back out into the book stacks I had a quick look around to make sure the band members were still in there...I soon saw Oleg perusing some language books. I went for the Marketing and Computer Graphics sections. They were mercifully close together. Some of us bought books and others just looked around. I bought “Public Relations for Dummies,” a book on computer graphics and a cute little workbook called “Russian the Fun and Easy Way.” Beth bought a book called “Russian in 10 Minutes a Day,” that Oleg found for her. Oleg bought something but I didn’t see what. We returned triumphantly to our vehicles with our purchases and then got seriously on the road – I-85 to I-40 to Raleigh.
Igor had told me at some point, I think in Florida, that they had seen a lot of rain on this tour. I think all of it put together couldn’t have been worse than what we had to drive through from Greenville, SC to Raleigh (NC) on June 14th. It was so heavy for a while that I almost couldn’t see the trailer a few car lengths in front of me! I could see the lights on the top of it but barely anything else, which is pretty bad considering the trailer is an even brighter shade of red than the van itself, also with the familiar big yellow letters spelling out “RED ELVISES.” It’s a four-to-five hour drive, depending of course on the speed at which one drives it, traffic, weather and so on. We also stopped for gas and other needs once or twice, of course. But anyway, we finally made it to Raleigh and got a motel for the night. We were leaving to go to the Pourhouse at 9:00pm so I started getting ready right away, opting to wear the dress I bought in Tucson, with a red Red Elvises workshirt, fishnets and my high top black and red DKNY sneakers with yellow laces that I’ve had for years and years. After two nights of heels I was tired of my feet hurting halfway through the show. Usually at the merchandise table not too many people see my feet and I’m pretty sure no one really gives a toss what I wear on them anyway, so I went for comfort. My sneakers are nice shoes too. It was great to climb into the van and be driven to the Pourhouse. Once there I enjoyed helping with the load-in and then started setting up the merchandise. The crowd was good, not as big as in Greenville, but there were some very nice people there, including one or two I remembered seeing last October as well (HAP Proctor, former Fan of the Month, for one!).
The songs they played in Raleigh were:
| Set 1: I’m Not That Kind of Guy Lovepipe Telephone Call From Istanbul Rocketman Burning For You Love Rocket Ticket to Japan Memoirs of a Hooker Sad Cowboy Song Belly Dance |  |
Set 2: 200 Flying Girls Drinking with Jesus Twist Like Uma Thurman Lara’s Wedding Your Love is Better Than Cocaine Ukrainian Dance #13 Closet Disco Dancer Juliet Rock Me Sally Venus (with Beth singing) |
This is the part where I tell a little story about myself and you can go “Oh, she’s such a tramp,” or “Good story!” or “What a sucker!” or whatever. At the end of the show this cute young man came over to the merchandise table. All guys reading this will have to bear with me here for a minute or two, because I need to tell all the female readers that this guy was C.U.T.E. in capital letters!!! Really cute. Reaaaaallllyyyy cute. I am not kidding, he was lovely, and also quite young, which doesn’t matter so much as personality does, and he had that too. Hopefully he was of legal age at least. It was his first time seeing Red Elvises and he had no money but really wanted….something… to remember them by. I let him have a bumper sticker, figuring I could spare a dollar for it. He thanked me but came back a few minutes later and said “I really like this poster and want to put it on my wall.” I said “Ohh, yeah, it’s great… you have no money at all? And he said “No, but I’ll give you a kiss for it.”
Now what do you think I did? A hot young guy offers me a kiss for a poster…hmm…and it’s also a chance to promote some good will for the band as well as get some free “advertising” on his wall for anyone who goes in there to see it. I knew every day he’d look at that poster on his wall and think of Red Elvises, and his friends would see it too and he could tell them about the show and how great the band was, and so on. I put that in the “no brainer” category, thinking in the marketing sense as well as the fun zone. And yes, I like kisses, so sure, why not? I let him give me a kiss (on the lips, if you must know), handed him a poster and put $5.00 of my own money in with the sales money of that night. Then he came back again.
Cute Guy: “What do I have to do for a t-shirt?”
My mind: “Whoa! I can’t believe he just asked me that…”
Yanking my mind out of the gutter, I said, “Oh, I hate to tell you that!” Okay, so maybe I didn’t quite yank it out of there fast enough…remember, he was really cute.
He laughed and looked at me expectantly. I said “I can’t give you a t-shirt, I’m really sorry.”
His friend told me “He really really really wants a t-shirt!”
I asked Cute Guy which t-shirt he’d like if he were buying one and he said the white Kick Ass Rock ‘n Roll shirt, size Large. I thought about it for a minute or so…okay, maybe not that long. I believe he said “please” a couple of times but I can’t swear to that.
Finally, I figured out what to do. Now keep in mind that this decision was as much to promote good feelings for the band (yes, really!) – it was Cute Guy’s first time seeing them and I do so enjoy cultivating new fans – as it was for any…um...fringe benefits for me. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it, so there.
I said “I can’t give you a t-shirt… But I’ll buy you a t-shirt, for another kiss… Make it a GOOD one! He was agreeable to that and so we kinda made out for about five seconds, just pristine kissing, very PG-rated. I handed him his t-shirt of choice and put in $20.00 of my own money. Don’t get any ideas of trying this on me at future shows, guys, I don’t have unlimited funds or patience…but it was fun that one time!
Later, I told Igor what I’d done and he said “I don’t give away t-shirts to cute girls!” And I said “I know, that’s why I paid for it!” Because of course I know better than to just run around giving away band merchandise and am achingly honest with this band. It was a fun thing to do, though; something I’ve never done at a show before. He was just joking with me anyway… I think.
After the show I helped with the load-out, mostly moving the merchandise suitcases and boxes. Back to the motel we went and I had a brief nightcap and conversation with Oleg. I was already looking forward to the rib festival on Friday!!
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Only two more shows that I could go to; this was going way too fast! Winston-Salem isn’t too far from Raleigh, only about an hour and a half, so we got there around mid-afternoon. I followed Oleg straight to the Ribfest site, running just one little eensy-weensy red light in the process (Shhh! Don’t tell anybody!).
There were police officers and other security manning the barricades at the festival site and keeping any riff-raff out. They let the van and trailer in right away, of course. And then there was me…not riff-raff, I don’t think, but not band either. I put my window down and politely asked if I could go into the site with them. “Are you with the band?” the officers asked. “No,” I said, “but I’m a friend of theirs and I sell merchandise for them and I’m traveling with them.” So they let me in! It pays to be honest and polite. “Just pull on in and park there on your left.” Yay!
A lot of standing around, taking it all in and happily smelling the rib-infested air ensued. We stretched our legs in front of the stage and I waited to see what would happen next. The stage manager came over and introduced himself, then soon asked how many people were in the band, for the purpose of doling out food tickets later. Adam said “Four.” Igor said “Actually, we have the merchandise person with us so it’s five.” Whoa, very cool! (Thanks, Igor!).
The next thing I had to do was move my car because it was decided that they’d park the trailer over to one side, pretty much where my car was, and leave it there while we went to the hotel, to be unloaded and re-hitched to the van later. So the festival guys tried to direct Oleg in backing up the trailer, even though by now he’s a pro at that. They finally got it where they wanted it and unhitched it, and soon we went to check in at the hotel. My car was by then almost sitting on Empty, so as soon as I was settled in my room I went in search of a gas station. I had asked the lady at the check-in desk where some gas stations were so I had a pretty good idea of how to get there and back. It turned out to be an excellent idea and I was also able to get some Sugar-Free Red Bull and snack items for the long drive the next day. Don’t assume anything and always think ahead – good advice for any Red Elvises road trip!
When we went back to the Ribfest later the air smelled even better than before…the lovely scent of barbeque ribs was everywhere. It wasn’t a big festival but it was a tasty one. It was entirely contained on a large downtown corner lot, entirely on concrete, and I guess it mainly consisted of food and music. That was my experience there, anyway. Oleg gave us our food tickets and we went over to the appropriate spot to get our rib dinners, then ate them in the VIP tent, which wasn’t as glamorous as it sounds but was still very cool to be in…once I finally found my way in through the front flap of the tent. There was a beer pump (keg?) in there too! Now all we needed was potato chips…(as in kegga beer and…). No, really, we had everything we needed…ribs, baked beans, cole slaw, BBQ sauce and bread. And beer. I was told the merchandise table would be set up right in front of the VIP tent, and soon I could see Igor’s silhouette out there bringing the merchandise over and hanging some shirts up higher than I could reach (he’s really handy for that, lol!), so after finishing my dinner I thought I should go help him. I got it all set up and the band changed into their stage clothes and pretty soon it was time to start the show. I love that early-evening time, by the way, when we’re all busy with something… me with the merchandise, the band with either soundcheck or changing clothes. Selling and talking to people is fun too, but during that getting-ready phase I always feel like the night holds magical promise, like a present waiting to be opened.
They played one longish set at the Ribfest and here are the songs:
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I’m Not That Kind of Guy Lovepipe Telephone Call From Istanbul Gypsy Heart Love Rocket Ticket to Japan Memoirs of a Hooker Sad Cowboy Song Belly Dance (with real belly dancers!) Rocketman Closet Disco Dancer Wicked Game Rock Me Sally Lara's Wedding |
The band was joined onstage during Belly Dance by local dancer/teacher/performer Sylvana and several more belly dancers, and they were literally pulled up onstage by Oleg and did a great job! Check them out at Sylvana’s website. It was fun to see real belly dancers up there so, while keeping an eye on the merchandise table for any potential customers, I ran back and forth across in front of the stage taking pictures like a maniac. There was also a girl there who was the editor of a local online magazine and she was dressed up cute in a hula skirt and enormous red platform shoes, so I took some pictures of her too.
It seemed like lots of people bought bumper stickers at that show so if you’re ever in Winston-Salem don’t be surprised if you see a bunch of cars with a bright red familiar-looking bumper sticker on them. After the show the band packed up their gear and I packed up the merch and we all went back to the hotel, where some went to sleep and others of us hung out and partied for a little while with the band who played just before Red Elvises, the Craig Woolard Band, a bunch of very cool and nice guys. Check them out at CWB.
One great thing, in addition to the company and laughter and good times, about that party was that I was able to offload the four beers and Oleg’s bottle of tequila that I’d been carrying around for a couple of days in my car. It had been in and out of hotel mini-fridges whenever we stayed someplace equipped with those. Since I still haven’t completely finished drinking the eight bottles of beer I brought home from Tampa last December I didn’t figure I needed to take home any more. So when Oleg told me what room he was “hanging out with musicians” in I said “Do you want me to bring the tequila down there?” and he said “Yes.” Thrilled, I gathered up the beer and tequila, put it in a plastic hotel laundry bag just not to be too tacky carrying alcohol around the hotel (North Carolina is somewhat more conservative than Florida, where we walked right out the hotel front door with beer in hand…) and took it to donate to the party. Beth and Adam were also there for a little while, and after they left the guys in the Craig Woolard Band remarked admirably on how great a drummer Adam is! I thought that was pretty cool and resolved to pass the compliment on to Adam, even though it took me about 24 hours to remember to tell him. When I did, the following night in an Allentown alley behind the Sterling Hotel, Adam, who is a terrific drummer but isn’t very good at handling compliments (part of his charm, right?), just said that was nice of them to say. I assured him they meant it and I hope he believed me. That’s a great achievement for any musician, isn’t it, to leave ‘em talking about you – in a good way, of course – after you leave. So when I left to go get some sleep the beer I’d brought was safely in Craig Woolard’s mini fridge (or whoever’s room that was, at least) and Oleg was holding what was left of the tequila, so my work was done there. It was fun. Sleep was necessary!
The next morning while getting ready, I had a little accident. It ranks up there in the Stupid Accidents category, to be sure, but I’m just grateful it wasn’t worse. I stepped into the shower and got my feet all wet but then realized I’d forgotten to shut the bathroom door. Now you know that when the door is open and the a/c is running, when you get out of the shower you’re gonna freeze your butt off, right? Well, I hate that so I thought “I’ve got to shut the door.” I had to step out of the shower to do that, and one foot at least hit the bathmat, which wasn’t terribly big. Actually, my feet aren’t terribly big either but that’s beside the point.
So, as they say, it all happened soooooo fast…apparently my other foot didn’t land on the bathmat and the split second it made contact with the slick tile bathroom floor I fell, no doubt with a resounding plop although I didn’t hear any sound. It was like one second I was upright, reaching for the door, and the very next I was ON the floor flat on my back, hitting my left elbow very very hard on the floor and sliding a few inches (so undignified, thank God no one was there to see…) until I slightly jammed my right big toe into the far wall under the sink and counter area. Since I was suddenly on a new plane in a potentially dangerous situation, I took a quick mental and physical inventory. My head was about an inch, maybe, from the side of the bathtub, with the toilet maybe six inches to the right. I am lucky I’m the height I am, 5’4”…a fashion model wouldn’t have had a chance in there! Nothing seemed to hurt except my elbow, which hurt plenty. My toe was complaining a little too but I moved it around and it responded, so I figured it wasn’t broken or anything. I got up, no back problems… and then realized that if I was any taller I probably would’ve hit the back of my head on the bathtub…it was a miracle that I didn’t hurt some other part of me, anyway. What a way that would’ve been to go – in a hotel room in Winston-Salem, NC while on the road with Red Elvises. I could have hoped that whoever eventually found me would’ve at least had the decency to throw a towel or something over me first. Oy.
But anyway, I got back in the shower and held my elbow up to the water stream to see if that would make it hurt any less. It didn’t, but at least I could move it all around so it was still functional, not broken. Moving it around in different positions didn’t make it hurt any more or less. It hurt like….well, really bad, for a while. But no permanent damage, which meant I could still lug merchandise suitcases and help a little with load-in. And drive, although I did later rest my arm on my little furry red airline pillow I always have in my car. It also meant I could still follow the band to Allentown that day and didn’t have to stop for presumably hours at a Winston-Salem hospital. Maybe that hotel should have signs in the bathroom warning about their slick tile floors…it didn’t occur to me to mention that to them, though. It was a great hotel in all other ways, and get this, for those of you who will understand and appreciate the chance humor of this, the address there was 420 High Street. No, I’m not kidding. Anyone who doesn’t get that, don’t worry about it, you’re just living a nice clean life so keep doing that.
And now, moving on…
I think I had probably told various band members at least ten times during various conversations, from Daytona Beach up to the night before (Igor, as we reached the elevators and said goodnight, coming from the parking lot: “I’m sure I’ll see you tomorrow…” Me: “Yes, because I’m going to Allentown.”), that I was planning to follow them all the way to Allentown. But still, I’m sure it must’ve seemed rather hard to believe because Pennsylvania is a long way from North Carolina and it’s often not so easy to keep track of what other people are doing, when you have to look out for yourself on the road. I understand all that. But, anyway, I was going. I had planned this for weeks and nothing short of a (God forbid) disaster at home, major car trouble or severe physical impairment was going to keep me from it. So I was standing out in the hotel parking lot by my car, looking over at the van and the people loading their luggage, when the following conversation took place:
Igor: “How long is your drive?”
Me: “Ever how long yours is, because I’m following the van.”
Igor: “You’re going to Allentown?”
Me: “Yes, I am.”
Igor: “Oh, Allentown is a long way…you might not make it…”
Me: (thinking, ”have you met me, Igor? Of course I’ll make it!) “I’ll make it.”
Beth, suddenly hearing us and taking a few steps in my direction: “You’re going to Allentown?!”
Me, laughing and holding out my arms like I was making a grand proclamation for the first time: “Yes! I’m going to Allentown!”
Glad we got that settled! Heh heh.
The rest of the day was no less interesting. My full tank of gas came in handy because we got on the road bound for Allentown and didn’t stop at a gas station for quite a while. It’s hard for me to figure out the logistics of gas management on the road with these guys because while the van gets less gas mileage than my car does, especially with the trailer now, it has a much larger gas tank than my car, which only holds a tiny bit over thirteen gallons. So anyway, I was patting myself on the back with my good arm, so to speak, for not being lazy and filling up the day before. And it all worked out just fine.
We drove along what seemed to be the scenic route, state roads and so on, for a long while before getting on the Interstate. Once on the freeway we made several brief stops for various reasons, and one of them was eat lunch, which we did at a Wendy’s restaurant connected to a gas/convenience store. While there, Beth asked Igor if she could ride with me for a while, and then she asked me if she could practice accordion during the ride. Since we were all missing Elena and her keyboards, Igor had requested that Beth learn to play accordion, so she needed to practice. I didn’t mind…I had never had an accordion played in my car right next to me before so didn’t realize quite how loud that instrument can be, but that’s okay. It was actually pretty entertaining. Igor said Beth could practice in the van but “it would be better for you to practice in Kayt’s car…” – Igor wanted to take a nap in the van…ulterior-motive alert.
So we set out again with Beth and the accordion riding shotgun with me. I’ve never been that close to an accordion in my life. She called Oleg-Schramm in L.A. and got some quick over-the-phone lessons, plus she really is a quick learner, because she had “Strip Joint Is Closed” going pretty well after a couple of hours. She played along with the CD many times and then on her own. Verrry nice, as Oleg would say, doing his best Borat impression. Very cool, I’d say, plus it was a great way to keep awake while driving. I recommend that anyone who tends to get sleepy while driving long distances on an Interstate, whether you’re following a big red van and trailer or not, should get an accordion player to ride along with you and play the keyboard portions of rock ‘n roll tunes written by Russians. You’ll stay awake and only speed a little… well… I can’t guarantee that.
I had given Oleg his early birthday present in Daytona Beach, a giant red fuzzy stuffed crawfish with a huge mouth and two big round eyes. Beth told me "He loves that thing!" Well, while the van only had three people in it and Igor was taking a nap on one of the rear seats, Oleg strapped the crawfish into the passenger seat so it could ride shotgun! We pulled into a gas station and I had to go around the van to get to the other side of the gas pumps since my gas tank is on the same side theirs is, and Oleg beeped his horn and pointed to the crawfish sitting there, making me laugh when I saw it. So naturally I had to get a picture, accomplished at the next roadside stop.
We finally made it to Allentown! Yes, me too. And yes, later that evening I told Igor, "See, I made it to Allentown!" It was a long way but Oleg finally exited and found us a hotel and I followed him gratefully into the parking lot. The people at the check-in desk were not very gracious really. Their attitudes were rather lacking...maybe they just don't like bands there or something (the van and trailer were clearly visible from the lobby). They claimed somewhat grumpily that they had no single rooms, I think (I wasn’t listening that closely to what they told Oleg, to be honest) and kept asking us both dumb questions that there were no real answers to – for example, the woman helping me told me she had no non-smoking rooms then asked me if I wanted a smoking room. Can you say “duh?” All I could say was, “Yes, if that’s all you have.” What did she think I would say, “NO, I insist on you building me a non-smoking room this instant?!” Hmm. They were nearly full for some reason (it couldn’t have been their exemplary customer service!). I automatically said, like I always do when reserving a hotel room alone, that I wanted a single room, and Oleg laughed and said, “I want to see if she gets a single room.” I think maybe somehow I did but I still don't understand it...my room had one king size bed in it, anyway, whatever it was, and it was pretty comfortable, especially once I sprayed it with some dollar-store air freshener.
So anyway… I didn’t have a whole lot of time to get ready to go, about an hour I guess. We were leaving for the venue at 8:45pm. I lugged my stuff – mostly my big red suitcase (and don’t laugh at me because some of my luggage happens to be red) – up to the second floor and started throwing contact lenses and makeup at my face. I decided to wear my favorite dress again, the black and white one with red sash on the front and red netting sticking out the bottom that I'd bought in Tucson, with fishnets, and thank Heavens I opted for comfortable shoes! I chose funky (my old faithful red and black high-top DKNY sneakers with the yellow laces) over glamour and was glad I did – for one thing, there were the stairs to get down to the ground level at the hotel. Then, exiting the van can be kinda scary in heels anyway, even if a band member helps me out. With tennis shoes on I can jump out, yay. Then, I had never been to the Sterling Hotel before so didn't have a clue what to expect of the "terrain." It's not actually a hotel but a kinda funky northern-style bar/club with various levels accessed by stairs. I never would’ve survived all that climbing up and down and concrete surfaces and so on in heels! So when you’re going to a club you’ve never been to before and you need to be able to help carry stuff in and around, go with functional and forget the girly high heels, unless you take them along to change into later – more good advice when on the road with Red Elvises.
We pulled up in sort of a wide alley behind the Sterling next to a small “loading dock” platform that you had to climb some steps to get up on. The guys started unloading stuff and putting it up there or on the ground to be taken inside. Just inside the back door were two staircases, one of about four to six steps going up to the stage and another, very steep, going down an entire floor to the dressing room below. Most of the stuff needed carrying up to the stage, and the merch of course had to go up there and then down the steps on one side of the front of the stage to the floor below. There were two rooms, actually, the one with the stage and then another large one with a bar that didn’t seem to be serving next to it, with a huge archway between. There was another area on the other side through a door, where, I figured out much later, there was the bar everyone was using, and that’s where the people assembled before being let in for the show. I wondered why people weren't milling around in there before the show; they made them all wait in the other room.
The air conditioning was only working on one side, and it wasn’t the side with the stage. It was decided that the merch table would be set up directly in front of the sound board and that was good because not only was there a bit of a wall there (the front of the wall surrounding the sound board) that I could hang up some shirts on for a display of merchandise, but I could also see the show. Oleg tried to get me to move the table over into the other room where the a/c was working and the closed bar was by telling me “This is where people will be, this is where the air is blowing!” But I kinda liked it where it was… I said “But then I can’t see the show…” Also, where it was I could hang the shirts up, and I could step a few feet into the other room to feel the cold air if I needed to, so I was okay with leaving the table where it was. As it turned out, not too many people hung out in that room anyway because most of them wanted to be in the hot room watching the hot band, so it all worked out. I had everything very well organized at that show and set it all up in record time, again grooving on that “night full of promise, unopened present” feeling. The band did their soundcheck, and during a lull in that I went up to the stage and asked Igor if he’d like to give me some change for the merch table then so he wouldn’t have to deal with it later. While he was getting me change we talked and I remarked that now that I’d gotten to where I could set up the merch table really well and fast and make it look good and all that, I had to go home soon, and what would he do without me? I was just kidding about that last part, of course, I know they can manage perfectly well without me. But he played along with my little joke and said “I don’t know! Stop selling merch, I guess!” Too funny!
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 Lori's toddler, Leland. He rocks! |
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 Kayt, Adam and Sheri |
 Kayt and Unsteady Freddie |
Special guests in Allentown included Lori who has the ultra-cute baby, well, toddler now, Leland, who you’ve seen previously in my Musikfest photos (August 2006, in the September 2006 Red Pages issue) playing with Adam’s drumsticks, and Lori’s friend Sheri Bayne who is an excellent photographer. Even Lori’s mom was there and it was nice to meet her. Another very special guest was Unsteady Freddie along with his special guest Maris. Freddie produces surf rock shows all over the place and I’m intending to get to one of them these days, although I don’t know when or where. I’m sure they’re loads of fun. I had met Unsteady Freddie previously at Musikfest, the same event where I’d met Lori. Leland, by the way, is not only adorable but destined for music greatness, I have no doubt. Every time Lori set him down he’d run for the stage and try to climb up there! He even gave the bass balalaika a try. With his little faux Mohawk and rock ‘n roll kilt he was ready for some fun! Freddie, Maris and I watched the soundcheck like it was our private concert, and I was thrilled when the band played part of “Burning For You,” my favorite of the newest Red Elvises songs and one they don’t do everywhere, although “Twist Like Uma Thurman” is a very close second because it’s so catchy and fun! It was kind of a long soundcheck because of a technical problem the sound guy had to fix (don't ask me, I know nothing technical), so the show started somewhat later than expected.
Finally, they were ready, sound problems fixed, and I heard a guy say “I’m gonna let the people in.” He opened the door and all I could see was a sea of faces. I was about in the middle of the room at that point and all I could think was “Whoa, people!” as I ran to the merch table. Instantly, the near-empty room was filled with warm human bodies. Tons of people swarmed into the room all at once, it seemed. I’ve never seen anything like it. From empty to full in less than thirty seconds! A good many of them found their way over to the merch table to look at the wares, which was great. I was ready for ‘em! Most of the crowd, though, positioned themselves right in front of the high stage not wanting to miss a moment.
The show began and it was great, like all the others! I tried not to be all bittersweet because it was my last night with them, I just focused on how happy I was feeling to be there, and I danced behind the merch table in between sales. I didn't want it to end.
In Allentown Oleg made a special announcement regarding Musikfest. You may have noticed that festival isn't on Red Elvises' tour schedule this year, and the place to complain about that is to Musikfest themselves. Oleg told the fine people in Allentown to write to Musikfest and complain that Red Elvises weren't playing there this year and I'll tell all of you too, even if you live nowhere near Bethlehem, Pennsylvania and had no plans to go. Musikfest needs to know how popular Red Elvises are and how much people want to see them there! To email Musikfest write to: info@fest.org or call them at 610-332-1300 or you can fax them at 610-861-2644. If you want to do it the old fashioned way and write them a letter, their street address is: 25 W. Third St., Bethlehem, PA 18015. That should cover it. Do it for Red Elvises.
Public Service Announcement is over; I know you can’t wait to see what songs they played in Allentown, so here it is:
| Set 1 I’m Not That Kind of Guy Lovepipe Boogie On the Beach Gypsy Heart Love Rocket Ticket to Japan Memoirs of a Hooker Sad Cowboy Song I Wanna See You Belly Dance Set 2 200 Flying Girls Drinking With Jesus Lara’s Wedding Twist Like Uma Thurman Your Love is Better Than Cocaine Ukrainian Dance #13 Wicked Game Closet Disco Dancer Juliet Rock Me Sally |
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I believe those last three were the encores. A nice girl offered to watch the table for me for a few minutes so I could go up closer to the front to try to get some better pictures. I kept the cash with me and thanked her, asking her to let anyone who wanted to buy something know that I’d be back real soon. So I went up there, took some pictures, watched a song or two and came back and she handed me three dollar bills – someone had bought three bumper stickers while I was gone! Verrry nice. There were girls onstage during Belly Dance, I’m pretty sure, which always makes it more fun. I’m not sure if there was a Sad Cowboy Song conga line though, because the place was so packed with people and it was so hot in the room with the stage. There was, of course, the traditional group drum solo during that song, which was great. Everyone seemed to have a really good time and all too soon it was over. Lori had left with Leland about halfway into the first set so as not to keep the baby out too late and make anyone think she was a bad mommy. She seems to be a very good mommy, by the way, and Leland seems to have a great start in life, hanging out with musicians and other music lovers before he’s even potty trained. Music and the love of it is a great thing to teach any child, in my opinion. I said goodnight to Unsteady Freddie and Maris after the show as they had to go before the final load-out.
After everything was packed up and loaded I hung out by the back of the trailer talking to a few people, which is where I relayed Craig Woolard’s great-drummer compliments to Adam while he practiced tossing his drumsticks high in the air and catching them. He didn’t drop them once, what a guy! Igor had me check downstairs for any other belongings and those were rounded up. We finally got in the van and went back to the hotel, planning to meet at noon the next day to go for breakfast or lunch or whatever before they got on the road for Boston and I had to head south and go home.
The next day at or near the call time, we were all out there with the van except for Oleg, who had gotten it mixed up and thought it was 12:30 they were leaving. But then he soon joined us. I had my car parked nearby, ready to go. So where to eat? The hotel’s parking lot was actually part of a much bigger lot where a shopping strip was located; in fact that had come in handy the night before when I had walked across that lot to Dollar General to buy a can of air freshener for my smoking room. But the shopping strip was long and curved and there were some big trucks parked in the way. We couldn’t see the other end so Oleg asked me to drive down there to see if they had a Chinese buffet restaurant or not. He thought he might’ve been there before and couldn’t remember if there was one. I was hoping for one too! So I drove down there but it turned out to be a Japanese steakhouse with sushi and ichiban but no buffet, alas. I returned and told them of my find. They opted instead for an Old (Olde?) Country Buffet and set the GPS in the van to find one.
Off we went. When we arrived at the buffet restaurant though, after only a little confusion over which freeway exit to take (”Oh, we’re exiting now… no, yikes, we’re not exiting, I have to get back into the lane…omg! Ah, it’s all right now, no one swerved or honked!” Fortunately, that doesn’t happen very often…never has before, actually, I don’t think…), the wait there was way longer than the guys wanted to wait so they decided we’d go somewhere else. Walking through the parking lot, Igor saw a Boston Market and asked what kind of food they have. They decided we’d go there so we walked over. Beth had gone into one of the nearby stores, I think, and she joined us later, as did Adam.
The food was good even though I got too much and had to take half my chicken along to eat later. I love Boston Market’s creamed spinach, by the way. For green food it’s great. They also had chicken tortilla soup, a little spicy for me but pretty good. Soup is good. It was Father’s Day. When Beth came in she wished both Igor and Oleg Happy Father’s Day and so did I, suddenly remembering, oh yeah, it is Father’s Day and both those guys are dads as well as kick ass rokenrollers.
I told Igor and Oleg “I’m going to miss you guys soooo much!” And Igor, knowing me fairly well, said “You’ll see us again… You’ll come to L.A.”
And he's right...I am going to L.A. in July for the San Diego and Rusty's shows. It'll be somewhat bittersweet and I'm a little afraid, to be honest, of the feelings I may have the day I get there, because of what happened the last time I went to L.A., in March. But sometimes it's therapeutic to get back on the horse and ride again. Life must go on and I do love California and miss it. It will also be the last time I'll see Red Elvises for a few months, since they're off to Russia and Ukraine in August and September, so I couldn't resist, even though those airfares never did get much lower.
So after lunch we walked back to the van, and my car, and said our goodbyes. They posed for a picture with me (I forgot to take my new dark red glasses off, so you see me about as natural as I'm gonna get...) and I got four verrry nice hugs. It all just seemed to fly by so fast, the whole trip, and there I was, alone in my car in a shopping mall parking lot in Allentown, Pennsylvania, with no idea how to get to the freeway to go home. Then, suddenly, I realized... duh... Follow them! They were heading toward a freeway... I just had to go south instead of north when we got there. So I hurried to catch up and that worked like a charm, as soon as we all turned the corner and I saw the signs I realized I was right where I needed to be, on the road my mapquest directions said to take to go to the freeway! Red Elvises Magic or sheer luck? Who knows...
All I know is, you can’t go too wrong following a big red van with the big yellow words “Red Elvises” on it. I had so much fun... Now I’m looking forward to doing even more roadtripping. Could it happen...maybe...in October? Life is always an adventure with Red Elvises.