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Red Road Trip: Red Christmas in Florida
| “You’re crazy,” Igor told me with a smile sometime during my last Florida road trip,
referring to my driving all the way down to Florida again for their December shows. I’m not
arguing that point with him – he and the other guys know I’ve been crazy for a long time - but
of course there was no question that I would go to Florida again within a month’s time. I would
be the first to admit that anybody who calls me crazy is speaking the truth! But I’m crazy for
Red Elvises...and hopefully it’s a “good” kind of crazy. So, sure enough, mid-December rolled
around and found me planning my Florida road trip.
The major differences between the December trip and the November trip were: |
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- Red Elvises were playing on the other side of Florida, the Gulf side, in December
- The driving distance for me to Tampa was shorter by at least an hour and a half than the drive to Lake Worth/Ft. Lauderdale
- I didn’t have to find hotels because The Amazing and Beautiful Lori of Tampa had graciously offered for me to stay with her at her house (thanks again, Lori, you rock!).
- Red Elvises were playing Skipper's Smokehouse, a legendary venue I'd always wanted to see!
So Lori and I were in Red Chat on Tuesday night, Dec. 20th, when she disappeared for a little while and then returned and said she had just talked to the guys and they were in Atlanta (changing planes), headed for Tampa that night. They had an early private show to do down there the next day. Now of course knowing they were on their way to Tampa got me slightly (slightly?? uh huh) excited and made me want to throw everything into my car and leave immediately (it’s okay, I didn’t...), and I do apologize again to everyone else who was in the chatroom with us that night, because we indulged in some rapid-fire hog-the-chatroom sort of discussion until I jumped out of there and started loading my car. For some strange reason I had actually packed a little earlier than normal. I couldn’t really leave until the next morning due to personal obligations but was excited and happy to be heading out a day earlier than planned.
The trip south was relatively uneventful but long...local roads to I-95, through my hometown of Jacksonville, Florida to the 10 freeway, or expressway, as they call it in the East (it seems so weird to think that this is the other end of the same freeway I traveled to Rusty’s on, from the 405, so many times in Los Angeles!). I-95 to I-10 to I-75 to I-275 and so on. I guess I was just anxious to get there so it just seemed like it was taking forever. There wasn’t as much pre-Christmas traffic as I’d feared there might be and I drove like Oleg, pretty much (safely but fast), going my most comfortable cruising speed of, oh, around 80 or 90mph most of the way after reaching I-95 (shhh! Don’t tell the Highway Patrol!). I had good luck and didn’t get pulled over at all. I reached Lori’s house around 8:00pm on Wednesday, the 21st, and we just sort of hung out and talked, getting to know each other face-to-face after communicating via email and chat for a long while.
The next day, Thursday, Lori went to work and I “attended” my online class via her computer (thanks again for letting me use your computer, Lori!). She came by the house later and brought me some lunch that was really really good, so I ate that and continued to indulge in lazing around her house until mid-afternoon in my Hello Kitty pajamas. Ah, the luxury! Around 2:00pm or so I called Oleg and things were rolling, literally – he said they were on the road heading to Sarasota!
Later on, walking into the Ritz Carlton, I felt like I was going to visit a rich old auntie, and
when I reached the Cá d’Zan room, the Ritz Carlton bar, where the band was set up to play,
there seemed to be quite a few rich, um, “senior” aunties, and uncles, |
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I got an expensive (but yummy!) vodka drink and greeted a new friend, Chris, I’d met at the Bamboo Room show a few weeks previously. Then I was pleasantly surprised to see Scott, who lives in the wonderful town of Johnstown, Pennsylvania and had fortunately been sent by his company to work in south Florida during the time Red Elvises were in the area! What luck, huh? His pictures and blog entries about the shows can be found elsewhere in this very issue, so check them out!
I soon saw Oleg, in all his animal print finery, over on the edge of the dance floor, so I went over to say hi. Soon all the other guys, Igor, Oleg-Schramm and Adam, came down to the bar from their posh rooms upstairs and got ready to begin the show.
There was talk that the crowd there was used to “light jazz and easy listening” sort of music and also that the Ritz Carlton has a rule about loud music, which sort of made me think of that old Russian guy in “Six-String Samurai” who says “I don’t like rock n’ roll music. It is TOO LOUD.” So Oleg announced that they were going to try to play quietly at first. I laughed, and I wasn’t the only one. And I couldn’t stop smiling. Chris and Scott and I exchanged knowing looks. Riiiiiiigggghhhhhhhttttttttt. Red Elvises...quiet. Our Red Elvises, that kick ass band we all know and love... Quiet? No way!
They introduced themselves as “Red Elvises, ‘Your Favorite Band’” and told the crowd that they were a dance band and that people should come closer and dance. Then they began the show with “Lovepipe.” We watched the crowd for their reactions...waited to see jaws drop and eyebrows raise when the guys started playing....waited to see old hearts won over to warm, sweet, fun, LOUD Russian rokenrol music.
And soon they were...
The second song was “Telephone Call From Istanbul,” followed by “It’s a Wonderful Night (to Fall in Love).” It was during the fourth song of this first set, “Love Rocket,” of all things, that the dance floor started filling up with (mostly) oldsters who could not resist Our Favorite Band – possibly their new Favorite Band – any longer!
 Before... |
 After... |
It was really cool to see the crowd respond with such dancing enthusiasm as Oleg sang, “I’ve got a condom in my pocket, I’m gonna meet me pretty girl!” I had been dancing a little before that happened, along with one brave couple who got out there and did some swing dancing...or maybe it was ballroom, I’m not sure now. Lori arrived sometime during those first few songs after fighting traffic all the way from Tampa, and she and I helped warm up the dance floor even more, along with a few other girls who weren’t swing dancing or otherwise with a partner.
The other songs that filled up the first set were “Ticket to Japan,” “Gypsy Heart,” “My Darling Lorraine,” “Winter Reggae,” “Strip Joint is Closed,” “Sad Cowboy Song,” and the world famous “I Wanna See You Belly Dance.” Before “Sad Cowboy Song,” Oleg said, “The next song is ‘Sad Cowboy Song,' so feel free to form a conga line like real cowboys do!” And people did!
 Everybody conga! |
 Like real cowboys do! |
During the break we sat and stood around and talked, and drank (do I really have to tell you that? Just assume, unless told otherwise, okay?) with the various band members and each other. I was walking through the room and saw a lady of approximately retirement age wearing a black sequin skirt! How awesome was that? I told her, “Great skirt! I wish I had one!” She just looked at me... I guess I surprised her. Before too long it was time for the second set so the guys manned their music making apparati again and got back out there.
In set number two they played “Night Butterfly,” “Harriet,” “Hawaii,” a lovely sexy song in Spanish that I’ve heard them do before (but always forget to ask them for the title of it), “This Music is Wasted,” “Ukrainian Dance No. 13,” and Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game.” Now during the second and third sets I tried to write down all the songs but it’s possible I may have missed one here or there...other people helped me, though, because I left my tiny little notebook and pen on the table, so hopefully we got them all.
Surprise! They did a third set! It was short but sweet... They played “200 Flying Girls,” “A Kegga Beer and Potato Chips,” “Blue Moon,” and the crowd participation favorite “Closet Disco Dancer.” There were a lot of fingers flying up in the air on that one!
 Chris disco dancing |
 Oleg and admirers raise disco fingers |
After the show we hung out for a while in the bar by the dance floor, took some more pictures, talked, drank (you assumed that, right? Good!) and that sort of thing. Oleg-Schramm sat and played the accordion for our listening pleasure. Oleg danced me around the edge of the dance floor, semi-ballroom style, while I tried not to step on his feet. We were all having so much fun and it was great that the night could last a little longer, hanging with the Elvises.
 Yours truly with Oleg |
 Oleg-Schramm entertains |
Friday afternoon around 2:00pm or so found Lori and me heading toward Skipper’s Smokehouse to have lunch (Igor called it breakfast...hey, oysters can be breakfast!) with the guys, who had invited us the night before. We got there before they did and Lori showed me around. The guys couldn’t believe it was my first time at Skipper’s.... I was so jazzed to finally be at the place I’d heard so much about. It’s a really cool place, an oyster bar restaurant as well as a concert venue. Lori says their motto is “We smoke everything!” There is some indoor seating for the restaurant and the stage is covered, as is a bar and merchandise area in the back. The rest of it is open to the sun and stars, with big trees overhead and plank “flooring” to walk and dance on. I loved it!
 A sign for the occasion! |
 Red Elvises tonight! |
 Me with Igor, Adam and Oleg-Schramm |
 Lori with Igor, Adam and Oleg-Schramm |
When the guys got there we took a few more pictures, because they’re so much more fun to photograph than scenery, and then we started ordering beer and looking at menus and ordering food (yes, in that order!). And the beer started flowing, and soon the food arrived and kept on arriving, and it was wondrous and hilarious and all new to me. Years ago, in September of 1999, to be exact, Igor was one of three people who convinced me to try scallops at a beach restaurant in San Diego. I found out I liked them! This time, I found out I like raw oysters and crawdaddies...yeah! Bring ‘em on! Oleg taught me how to eat both, although I had to practice a little more with the crawdaddies (break them open and suck...yummy!). We had a great time, a three-hour or so lunch, and it was even more “high spirited” after someone sent a round of tequila shots over to our table! That was, without a doubt, the most fun I’ve ever had at lunch, and the most drunk I’ve ever been at lunch! Did I mention we drank plenty of beers?
 Waiting for food... |
 Oleg and Lori and crawdaddies, oh my! |
After we finally poured ourselves out of Skipper’s the guys went back to their hotel to nap while Lori and I went shopping. Hey, we’re girls....gotta shop! And since it was so close to Christmas and we went to a mall, being slightly drunk (there’s that “slightly” word again...well, if you think I’m underestimating you can use your imagination...and you’d probably be right) was THE way to go, we found. (Try it sometime, just don’t knock stuff over.) Once we got back to Lori’s house we started getting ready for the show right away and then headed back to Skipper’s. Once again we got there before the guys did, and we started unloading the merchandise from my car that I’d brought down at Igor’s request.
One of the first people I saw at Skipper’s that night was Karsten (K-dog) who I had met at the Bamboo Room in Lake Worth a few weeks ago. It was really good to see him and his friend Kurt too. We went in and said hello to Chris, already selling merchandise, and soon Amy and Amber Osborne showed up. It was great to see them too, I hadn’t met them before and they’re very cool girls. The guys got there and Oleg had to take a picture of me....of my outfit, mainly. I was wearing a bright red dress, a belly dancing scarf worn like a skirt with gold coins on it and a shiny gold sequin jacket. I was probably visible from Space! But it was fun to dress up like that for my 100th Red Elvises show. Every time I moved, I jingled from all those (fake) coins on my scarf-skirt.
K-dog got me a beer (thanks, dude!) and I found a good place from which to watch the show, just inside the velvet rope on Oleg’s side of the stage. Lori and I were sometimes in there together or sometimes only one of us was there, since we took turns helping Chris with the merchandise on and off the whole evening. We were all happy happy happy to be at Skipper’s!
The crowd cheered when the guys got onstage to do a quick soundcheck in their regular clothes. Once that was done, they went to change and were soon ready to begin. More cheering, much louder this time, ensued as they returned to the stage. There was a huge crowd in front of the stage already; this Skipper’s crowd was ready to rock! The guys began with “Lovepipe” as they had the night before, and here’s where I confess that I didn’t write down the songs in the first set. But it was very similar to the previous night’s first set except for the inclusion at Skipper’s of “I’m Not That Kind of Guy” (Igor outdid himself at the front of the stage on the “to DIE!” part, very cool!) and maybe one or two other song changes.
 Some fine Russian dancing! |
 ...to DIE! ...to DIE! |
I was drinking and I was ecstatically happy, what can I say? I may not exactly remember all the songs but I know it was fun and everybody there loved whatever they played. The first set ended with the traditional “Belly Dance” and so many girls got onstage there was hardly any room to dance! It felt like one of those really crowded Rusty’s nights up there, each of us in our little square foot of space. But that’s okay, it was awesome anyway and I loved my first "belly dancing at Skipper's" experience.
 Belly dancing! ~Photo by Scott Davis (c)2005~ |
 I'm in there somewhere ~Photo by Scott Davis (c)2005~~ |
During the break I wandered around, going backstage and out into the crowd again, talking to people and so on. And at some point I went back to the merchandise table to see how Chris was doing and relieved Lori from her helper shift so she could go dance or whatever. So when the second set started I decided to try writing down some of the songs in between selling shirts and CDs.
To the best of my ability to tell you, they started the second set with “Gypsy Heart,” followed by “200 Flying Girls,” “Boogie on the Beach,” “Memoirs of a Phuket Geisha,” “Ukrainian Dance No. 13,” “My Love is Killing Me” and then did a very enthusiastic “Closet Disco Dancer” – all of which I watched from the back of the “room” at the merchandise table. But it’s a step up onto a narrow platform of sorts when you’re back there selling merchandise, so I had a great view anyway, even though it was from a little far away. It was partway through the second set that the guys were sweet enough to announce onstage that it was my 100th Red Elvises show (aww, thanks, guys!). I think it was either during “Closet Disco Dancer” or in the middle of the next encore that Chris returned to the merchandise table and I was free once more to go up to the stage and dance right next to it again, so I seized that opportunity! The last song was “Jerry’s Got a Squeezebox,” and I noticed Oleg motioning me with his head to get up onstage. I think I said something like, “Really? Cool!” as he nodded yes, and then I went up there and started dancing again. Lori and some other girls soon joined me up there and that was lots of fun too.
 Red Elvises Rule! |
 From left, back: Lori, Amy, K-dog, Amber. Front: Kurt, Oleg, me, looking wasted |
After some post-show partying, which seemed to go by all too fast, the guys were off to the airport to catch very early flights and I had some sleep to catch up on. I woke up later feeling like a truck had run over my head but it’s amazing how two Excedrin Migraine pills and an almost life-giving hot shower can help someone get ready for a nine and a half hour drive north! I’m so glad I went to Tampa and Sarasota! It was a blast, and yes, even though I may well be crazy, I’d do it again (hmm, the Tour Dates page says they’re playing Tampa again in March 2006!) so don’t be surprised when my Red Elvises craziness surfaces again!