Red, Glorious Red!
Or, All That You Ever Wanted To Know About Red But Didn’t Ask For Fear Someone Might Tell You
By Kayt

Red. The very word evokes emotion and smacks of strong opinion. Just a few things the color brings to mind: heat, energy, boldness, loudness, courage, power, excitement, love, fire, rapid heartbeats, intensity, impulsiveness, competition, aggression, passion, optimism, strength and anything else that excites the senses, such as Red Elvises. It’s the perfect color for heartfelt feelings as well as fire, battle, blood, infection…okay, eww…moving right along… bricks, clown noses, apples, sunsets, Irish setters, balloons that aren’t any other color, barn roofs and Oleg’s hair. It’s a primary hue, along with its fellow primary hues yellow, blue and Hefner. If red did not exist everything would be blue, yellow, green, teal, brown, gray and shades thereof. Think of it – no purple, no orange, no pink, no fuschia…what a dull and deprived world this would be! We could still exist – you can’t miss what you never had – but I’ll just bet we’d all wander around feeling like something was missing. What color would we use to draw hearts on Valentine’s Day? What color would a summer sunburn be? A green, white and blue flag on the 4^th of July? And sunsets without red…not a pretty picture at all. One shudders to think. Go on, shudder, I’ll wait. Okay, good, you’re back, just in time for a short stroll down Red Memory Lane.

One of my first favorite songs as a child was called “Red River Valley.” I learned all the words around the age of seven and insisted on singing it at every occasion and hat-dropping whether anyone wanted to hear it or not, including a certain birthday party where no one applauded. All the other kids just stared at me, shell-shocked, no doubt, from having to listen to my little off-key voice warbling “From this valley they say you are going… We will miss your bright eyes and sweet smile… Something something something Red River Valley… Something something stay for a while.” Well, that was a long time ago and I’ve forgotten a few of the words, which is probably a good thing! But I liked red, even then, and would have painted my bedroom walls that color had not parental interference raised its ugly non-red head in fear of red walls making me crazy. Little did they know I would grow up to be rather crazy anyway.

According to a very interesting color oriented website, pantone.com: "A preference for red is directly linked to the most secure within a society, with the most economically stable segment, or achievers, such as high-powered active women who are unafraid to take risks." Now who does that sound like? Red Elvises’ female fans, right? You got it! Go to any Red Elvises show and you’ll see them, those secure women risking pelvic fractures while achieving their most highly powered dancing. I think that should definitely include men too, though, as I’ve seen quite a few crazed male fans indulging in some mighty high-powered dancing at shows as well.

All around the world the color red has high significance today and throughout history. In Las Vegas it’s been proven by people who study such things (where do we go to sign up for a job like that, huh?) that gamblers actually gamble more and are willing to make riskier bets when seated under a red light as opposed to a blue light. That's why you’ll see so much red neon in Vegas. Roll those dice, baby needs a new pair of red shoes! I’ve never been to Greece but have heard that the Greeks dye Easter eggs red for good luck. In Scotland it is a tradition to tie a piece of red ribbon around an animal’s neck to protect it from disease and death. So it might be nice to throw a red collar into your shopping cart next time you’re in the pet store.

Red garlands and red scarves are or were part of wedding customs in many cultures. Traditionally in China, a bride wore a red wedding gown and didn’t even have to worry about renting a limo; she was carried to the ceremony in a red litter where she walked down the aisle on a red carpet and was greeted by the groom who lifted her red veil. After a child was born to the happy couple neighbors brought red eggs as gifts. I’m not sure whether they dyed the shells red or had little red hens working overtime but it’s a nice thought either way. The tradition of wearing red for weddings actually dates back to Roman times when brides were wrapped in a fiery red veil, the flammeum, to symbolize love and fertility. (Fertility? Oops! Better be careful you high-powered active women, that’s a risk you don’t want to take!). Greek, Albanian and Armenian brides wear red veils even today. And just about everywhere, red roses are symbols of love and fidelity.

Historically, red clothing was used not only for weddings but as a symbol of power and authority. Nobility in medieval times claimed the exclusive right to wear red coats, and the red robes of kings, cardinals, judges and executioners announced their power over life and death. The Romans used a red flag as a symbol for battle. The ancient Greeks believed red coral to be a symbol of immortality. The Egyptians believed that their skin was naturally red, so they painted their bodies even redder, proving that no one can ever be “too red.”

Going way back into antiquity, neolithic hunters (I wasn’t there, just researched this) considered red to be the most important color and one endowed with life-giving powers so they placed red ochre into graves. That’s nice but what the hell is ochre, you ask? It is earthy mineral oxides of iron used as pigments. Those neolithics didn’t have much to work with back then. I seriously doubt it ever brought anyone back to life but maybe it made a few neolithic afterlives more exciting.

On a lighter note, ancient writers of Egyptian papyri used a special red ink on their scrolls for nasty words. They must have really liked nasty words since red makes things stand out more. In order to see the color red, the lens of the eye has to make a special adjustment to focus on the red wavelength, and this adjustment makes the red appear to advance or zoom in, so your eye would naturally be drawn to words in red. When reading, you wouldn’t skip words that are glowing there on the page in lovely red ink, nasty or not, now would you? This is ironic when you consider that today such words and phrases are known as blue or “off color” language and when they are used in comedy routines the comedians are said to be “working blue.” I’m sure red is glad to have its name cleared on that one!

The effect of the color red used to also play an important role in politics. Red is the most frequently used color for national flags, mostly due to its excellent visibility and presumably because it’s pretty and stirs the emotions. Red became the symbol of communism and socialism during the Russian Revolution in 1907 and this color of warmth usually had a positive connotation in cold countries like Russia throughout history. The Red Army's alternative name was "Glorious Army" and Russian words for red (krassnyj) and beautiful (krassivyj) are very similar. Western cultures frowned upon the red color in its political sense, especially in the Colonies during the Revolutionary War when the British, from whom we were seeking independence, wore red uniforms and were called Redcoats when colonists didn’t know their names.

Red has worked its way into our language in many ways.People have been known to blush “red with embarrassment” or when their financial affairs fall on hard times their books are “in the red.” Not those people who prefer red, of course, since they are the most economically stable and secure, as mentioned earlier, but the rest of the population. Then there’s the ever-popular “red light district” for a good time, if you’re into that sort of thing. We all know that to “paint the town red” means to celebrate and party. And if while partying someone swoops in on your date and makes you lose control and experience intense anger then you might "see red." Dream analysts would have us believe that if you dream of the color red, it is a warning to calm your temper. Or maybe it just means you secretly want to party more, especially if you dream of holding a paintbrush dipped in red paint.

If you party too much or tend to drive to places in a hurry, red traffic lights and brake lights announce danger. Red flashing lights on top of cars emblazoned with the word “Police” announce impeding tickets or the thrill of meeting new people…judges, bailiffs, that sort mostly. In some cities those flashing lights are blue, not that makes it any less upsetting when it happens, but red can’t always be blamed for these things. In nature, animals use the color red to recognize their own kind, announce the mating season (there goes that fertility again!) or to issue a warning. Only animals and animal behaviorists know how this is done so don’t try it at home. Red in advertising is used to evoke erotic feelings by the use of red lips, red cars, red stockings and so on. And as for red eyes (see partying, above), we’re constantly reminded on television that “Murine gets the red out.” Red even has a strong energy on the growth of plants, hence all the college kids with closets full of plants and red grow lights shining on them…no, wait, that’s only certain types of plants, nevermind.

Moving along into the scientific arena, red is a stimulant in the healing process and is supposedly the first color perceived by mankind. Brain-injured persons suffering from temporary color-blindness start to perceive red before they are able to discern any other colors. Red has been shown to stimulate the senses and blood flow, energize the body and raise the blood pressure, while blue has the opposite effect and calms the mind. Infrared radiation is used for healing purposes due to its warming and pleasant effect.

Various other types of radiation, however, have nothing to do with red and should be avoided.

When you were a kid did you ever ask why the sky was blue? Well, in case you wondered instead why the sunset is red, it is because of an effect called Rayleigh scattering. If you absolutely hate science you may want to skip this next part. Okay, here goes: particles in our atmosphere that are approximately the same size as the wavelength of visible light cause the white light from the sun to scatter and split into individual components, much like Igor causes crazed fans to scatter when he steps down off the stage into the middle of the crowd. Well, not exactly like that…in fact, not really like that at all. Hmm…okay, so then oxygen and nitrogen scatter violet and blue light due to their small size, which is why the sky appears to be blue in the daytime, especially at midday when the Sun is closest to us. During sunrise and sunset the distance that the light has to travel from the Sun is at its greatest. This means that a large amount of blue and violet light has been scattered so the light that is received is mostly of a longer wavelength and therefore appears to be red. Red has the longest wavelength and the lowest energy of the color spectrum. Okay, wake up, now you know it’s all done with light and mirrors…or with a big giant brush dipped in red paint. There won’t be a quiz.

For the sports nuts, word has it that football coach Knute Rockne tried to stimulate his players for a game by painting the locker room red, while the opposing side’s locker room was a relaxing blue color. There are several sports teams proudly using “red” in their names, among them the Washington Redskins, Detroit Red Wings, Boston Red Sox and Cincinnati Reds. I hope those are right, all I really know about sports is that if one gets injured playing sports then the color red is frequently seen leaving the body in undesirable ways. In karate, red signifies the Sun and the student growing toward it, helping the student focus and become more aware of his or her surroundings. Also, every now and then if you look thoroughly in enough bars you may see red pool tables. If you also see red poodles though, it’s time to lay off the red ale and go home. Lastly, we shouldn’t forget that red has balls, in the sense that those rubbery balls used in elementary schools are often red, footballs are reddish-brown and basketballs are orange, a cousin of red. Baseballs and soccer balls just don’t know what they’re missing.

In popular culture today we see much use of red, from art, literature (Who can forget the classic bedtime story, “Little Red Riding Hood?”) and advertising to use of the word “red” in countless movie titles and songs. At some point before many of us were born, Frank Sinatra had a song called “Red,” there was a song back in the 1960s called that went “goodbye, Ruby Tuesday…” and in the eighties there was song by UB40 called “Red Red Wine” just to name a few. Two bands before Red Elvises that named themselves using the word “red” were Simply Red and the more popular Red Hot Chili Peppers. And there have been many many other instances where red was utilized in music to gain attention and create excitement. In movies throughout the decades we have “The Red Shoes,” (1948), “The Red Badge of Courage” (1951), “Lady in Red” (1979), “Reds” (1981), “The Woman in Red,” (starring Gene Wilder, 1984), “The Hunt for Red October,” (1990), “Rose Red” (2002) and let’s not forget the famous female lead character Scarlett O’Hara in the 1939 film “Gone With the Wind.” In movies, red has always been an alluring color, not only visually, such as Marilyn Monroe posing in her striking red dress on the DVD cover of the film “Niagara” (1953), but also audibly as the late Madeline Kahn playing the much-courted Lili von Schtupp in “Blazing Saddles” purred “Ooh, a wed wose, how owdinawy.” And most recently red exploded all around us in the exciting and brightly colored “Moulin Rouge” (“rouge” meaning “red” in French), which coincidentally starred red-haired Nicole Kidman. Not to mention that when you go to the movies you can eat M&Ms, some of which are red, or that longstanding movie treat, Red Vines, licorice-type candy that tastes good. Yes, in entertainment I’d say red is definitely here to stay.

Red is the most dynamic color there is. There is no other color that comes close, although orange tries but is just a little too mellow. No other color catches the eye quite like red or inspires as much soul-stirring controversy and excitement. Where would be without it? Stuck in a universe of yellow sunsets, blue flags and green things that shouldn’t all be green. Let’s all take a moment to fully appreciate red and the guys who chose it as part of their band name, Red Elvises. From the red of Oleg’s hair to the red silk of several of his and Igor’s most beautiful suits and the gorgeous red of Zhenya’s guitar, they make us even more glad the color red exists on this planet. Long may we all continue to be red-inspired high-powered active women and men unafraid of taking risks. And as Oleg sings in “Scorchi Chornye,” let’s paint the town red!