Fan of the Month - Times Two!
Brett and Eve, interviewed via email by Fearless Leader Ealasaid.

Q: Names?

Brett Montegny and Eve Gerlach—and we always fight over who gets top billing, but Eve is feeling nice, so she’ll give it to Brett this one time.

Q: Brief history of your life - where born, grew up, etc.

We’re both Florida crackers. We are cosmically (or is it comically?) connected by an evil man that Eve once dated and Brett loved. Our friendship was founded at a mock Goth club where we were known as the “Door Whores”. Brett was the nice one; Eve was the bitter one who took great pleasure in beating the patrons with a belt. Somehow they enjoyed it too. Brett’s fondness for Eve grew immensely during that time. She has turned to Eve for frequent brow beatings ever since. Brett is a much better person for it. Brett, in exchange, owns a wildly popular clothing store in Lutz, Florida. Everyone who is anyone shops at Classy Consignments, as Brett’s fashion sense and keen eye are second to none. Whenever Eve is found wearing some stupid hellacious getup, Brett, without batting a pretty little eyelash, will strip her down bare-ass naked and get her into some sensible clothes. She has been known to do this in public, much to Eve’s dismay.

Q: Main interests growing up? Any obsessions you don't mind sharing?

Brett was a student of classical music growing up. “This one time, in band camp we went out for ice cream and we went to the student book store. It was soooooo, much fun,” reflects Brett of her rigorous training. Brett’s childhood was consumed with music. Her passion began at an early age: “This one time, at band camp, I was in love with my French Horn Teacher, Paul Basler. He wore tight ripped jeans with a pink Polo shirt. I will never forget that.” Eve was a weird little kid who used to draw pictures of imaginary friends on her hand and have lengthy conversations with that hand while she should have been studying math. She has been mathematically inept ever since. As a teenager, she had a brief love affair with the theatre, but she decided it was too needy, so she opted for being dramatic in her private life instead. Brett’s biggest obsessions include homosexual men, clothing, belly dancing, Yoga, and being a vegetarian. Eve is obsessed with herself, Web design, her Bad Art collection, as well as bacon and many other assorted meat products.

Q. Do you play a musical instrument?

Eve: No.

Brett: I can play just about any musical instrument that you can place in front of my pretty little hands. I play the piano for the Friendship Singers, which are a group of singing senor citizens, and we play at nursing homes. I played the French horn for 10 years, and I am self-taught on the clarinet. I can also play the rain stick, the tambourine, maracas, bongo drums, woodblocks, and I play the zils whilst I belly dance. I sing marvelously too.

Eve: Hey, I can sing too! I sing much better than you do!

Brett: Do not.

Eve: Do too.

Brett: Do not.

Eve: Do too

(catfight ensues)

Q: What accomplishments are you most proud of at this moment in your life?

Eve: kicking Brett’s ass after that last fight.

Brett and Eve’s proudest accomplishments include organizing the biggest event in Lutz, the Lady Lutz Inner Beauty pageant and Silent Auction. All of the proceeds from this annual event go to local charities in Lutz such as the hottie volunteer firemen, the Joshua house, and local parks and community centers. This pageant is based on the woman; her talent, initiative, and intellect—not her beauty. They are also proud of becoming world famous professional Panty Throwers for popular bands like the Red Elvises.

Q: Favorite movies?

Brett and Eve generally don’t have the attention span to watch movies, but separately, Brett’s faves are “Almost Famous,” “The Harmonists,” and “Funny Girl.” Eve’s are “Clueless” “Before the Rain” and “Pretty in Pink”

Q: What music do you like, besides the Red Elvises?

There is other music?!? No, Brett likes Natacha Atlas, Inkubus Sukkubus, Alison Krauss. Eve is fond of Jill Sobule, They Might Be Giants, and Lyle Lovett.

Q: When/where/how did you first hear/experience the Red Elvises?

Brett found them first at Tropical Heatwave many many many many years ago. She finally got around to telling Eve about them a year ago. Eve immediately fell in love and joined Brett--together they assaulted the Elvises with about 50 pairs of panties, and screamed their fool heads off for them. The Elvises have loved Eve and Brett ever since.

Q: How many times have you seen the Elvises in concert? What's the farthest you've ever driven to see them?

Let’s just get this straight right now. We do not drive to see the Elvises. They come to see us. They love Tampa. We are one of the many reasons why.

Q: Why the Elvises? What is it about them that makes you such fans?

They’re Russian, they’re “saxy”, they shake their pelvises, and they play fabulously well. Really, what more could a girl want?

Q: Do you have any rituals/traditions around seeing the Elvises? Always wearing red, always standing at the front of the stage, stuff like that.

We must bring as many panties as we can carry; we stand in front of the stage and scream, cry, catfight, and do anything we can to get close to them. We try to pick a different dress theme every time (i.e. rock star wear, Catholic school girl, prom dresses, etc).

Q: Best moment at a Red Elvises show?

When we got them to play “Hawaii” at their last show, using only our wit and stunning beauty.

Q: What would you like to see the Elvises do in the future?

Buy houses and settle down.

Q: Last one: Do you have anything you'd especially like to say to your fellow fans?

No.