Red Withdrawal: 8 Ways to Cope
Kayt Owens

So you saw Red Elvises and you’re hooked! Only once, and you’re surprised at the overwhelming desire to see and hear them again? Whether you’ve had one glorious RED experience or five, twelve or thirty shows like some of us spoiled southern Californians, one burning question fills all our hearts – WHEN will we see them again?!

Unlike most addictions, this one brings no harm to body or soul, only fun, and sweet memories that make you smile when you think of the songs, the laughter, the dancing, the beer…uh, the comradery…even on the darkest days of Winter. You want more than anything to see them again, to hear sweet Russian music, to dance under the stars or near the bar or dodging the long arm of Oleg’s big red balalaika. You’re going through Red Withdrawal, separated from the band you love! What will you do? How will you cope? Here are some ideas, not guaranteed to work, but they’re fun anyway:

1. Buy ALL the Red Elvises CDs and play them in your car. Other drivers will wonder why you’re smiling, singing and seat-dancing in the middle of traffic jams. But remember to drive safely, and watch out for those less fortunate in their musical tastes!
2. Play Red Elvises CDs in your room or house and practice your disco dance moves. If family members laugh, let them, or invite them to join in.
3. Express yourself – indulge in your fantasies, write down your thoughts and feelings in your secret diary, or try writing about your experience seeing a Red Elvises show and submit it to The Red Pages.
4. Buy red sheets for your bed and try dreaming of Red Elvises!
5. Phone a friend – no, wait, that’s a Lifeline on "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire." Well, phone or email a fellow Red Elvises fan and giggle like schoolgirls (unless you’re a boy, then you’re on your own here). It can’t hurt.
6. Go shopping for red clothes to wear to your next Red Elvises show.
7. Watch Red Elvises videotapes such as "Live on the Pacific Ocean," (available from your favorite website, www.redelvises.com as are the CDs) or THE movie, "Six String Samurai," every day if necessary.
8. Take deep, calming breaths….then go have a beer, or soda if under 21 (Red Bull energy drink?), and relax!