How I got the Hot Pants for the Red Elvises
Jibbs

"Riiight...the Red Elvises? who the hell are they & WHERE did you pull them out of?" (some guy)

So a bunch of people have asked me "How did you hear about the Red Elvises anyway?" My standard response was always "It is a complicated story that I usually draw out for hours (who can keep themselves from getting carried away when talking about the single most significant event in one's life- the discovery of one's favorite band) besides, it involves stealing people's pants. You probably don't want to know." but I figure I'd better explain and get it over with.

A long time ago in a galaxy far far away (two years ago at Bethlehem Musikfest) I was wandering around vacantly with a friend and my little brother, listening to various bands, eating, the usual festival activities. Not looking forward to much being that I had missed the concert my friend wanted me to see. We had tickets to the "Savage Gardens" concert later that evening and were trying to blow some time and find good ear candy. (I confess once upon a time I did listen to that silly, mushy, lovey-dovey music by bands such as Savage Gardens.)

We went to go check out a ska band, and my friend excitedly pointed to a hot guy in a pair of red pants standing in line at some food stand.

"Ohmygawdohmygawd! They're still here!- That's one of the guys from that band i wanted you to hear-the Red Elvises! Look at those cool shoes- I LOVE those shoes!" She said.

My response was "*I* like the pants..."

She started talking about the show and their cute butts and swivel hips, and I became very interested.

"Ok...you ask him for the time, distract him...and I'll get the pants. He'll never know..." I said.

It turned out that the Red Elvises were covering for the ska band who had failed to show up. The show started with "Stewardess in Red."

"Ok," they said. "We're covering for a ska band that didn't show up. So we'll play some ska..." (sans brass). This seemed to have little effect on the crowd. I don't think they knew what ska was. They probably thought it was another form of country music.

The show went on, and we had a blast. As I told my friend in the middle of "I'm Not That Kinda Guy" "I think....I'm swooning...ahhhhhh...."

Unfortunately we left at the break, it was almost time for the Savage Gardens concert and we didn't want to be late. Well...that was a *very very* dumb thing to do. Savage Gardens sucked and couldn't even compare to the Red Elvises!

To be continued...